e s o p h o r i a - it's all about how you perceive me.

So many people made some sense to me today; I realized I have lotsa amazing friends around me afterall. Feel bad whenever im bitching abt some unreasonable actions, even though it happened long before.. But I cant help but think that if anyone were to be in my shoes, they will feel the same way too.

It is really a cold day today, rainy n windy.. but my heart feels calm..satisfied, for a long time, ive never felt this way. The worry in me has ceased, a lil, because I have somehow poured my agony do Diana; n she unexpectedly made me feel so much better. (it’s the same old agony) Although we aren’t close.. she helped me make my day somehow. Well I started talking to her because she was wondering what exactly happened to august’s shoe.. yes, its destroyed, by the powerful bites from either snoopy or roxy (e 2 beagles in hiz hos) they are Isaac’s n Diana’s.. apparently when Isaac wasn’t home n Diana was sleeping, either one (it was snoopy according to Kevin) bite a big hole outa aug’s shoe. Haha. Poor aug got angry cos its his shoe, I bet it must have been from someone special, but he said it wasn’t over dinner. Haha who knows. Well anyway, told her it was okay, cos Isaac and Aug gonna setlle it among themselves and she shudnt worry. ^^ he’s gonna pay him back.. which is a bless in disguise eh? New shoes for nth.. haha..

Hrm.. yea so I went on asking if she would allow her bf to go out 1 on 1, and she agreed with me.. that its not right loh.. and why would u risk our relationship with sth like that- if the girl u are going with is just a “friend” ? not worth it.

But.. yeay! So happy another person understands me. Sigh. My dear Tsunting told me once too that she will not be happy. Besides, JH is juz too nice to do that to her. I mean, he wont. N so did fu.. hehe.. he’s so nice he told me gf is priority; the attached fellow friends of his nv walks alone with another gal. he isn’t even attached and he’s saying that. So proud of him. N ‘ve been a good boy too not to scold ur up-to-no-good grpmates. I suggest u’ll just have to be firm to handle these kinda ppl man.. don’t get taken advantage of okay!

Hrm.. owh of course, the most impt thing that happened today was my FIRst Paper, Food microbiology. ARgh.. I studied sO Much for it, and only 30% of what I studied actually appeared. fUThermore, I forgot to look up n understand this particular topic on G time. Haha.. damn.. n its 15 marks. The essays were so not in content loh. Duno if I had managed to have a good crap over it or not. Oh n of course, I shud have put across some of my biochem knowledge. I FORGot to! Its somehow linked.. ah.. stupid me. Well the next paper is 3 days away. And im not even prepared. Im getting lazier day by day.. im wondering if I shud actually start but its late. I think I’ll just go to bed and start tomorrow morning. Having memory crash up ther in my brain u see.. the feeling of having one subject down is soooooo cool really. Mean it. Hehe I even did laundry when I came home, and went for dinner with Aug.. n he bought me ice cream from IL Doce Fredo too! Wow. Once in a blue moon kinda surprise.. hehe..

Over dinner we discussed about future. Which is essential… haha. He asked if I ever wonder what happens when I graduate nx year, if I were to go overseas to do my postgraduate. Will we break up or.. not? Cos If I were to continue Master of Food Science here, I will be basically dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. I hate ILFR’s organization. I doubt the Master will be better. Im thinking of doin sth in commerce or, science, sth like neuroscience or microbiology.. mayb? Or go overseas, US to do sth else. Told him we’ll see.. we’ll get to discuss our relationship again, the same time nx year, that’s if everything work out well throughout this holiday, ^^ Guess what, he promised he wont cheat on me! So glad. But im still insecure. Worrying all the time. I know im being paranoid. Like what Isaac says, I shud take it easy. But its hard. It is. Sigh, if someone were in my shoes, u will understand, First Karma occurs, I think? And secondly, once bitten, twice shy? Ever had a trauma? If so then that’s the feeling. Not to mention, there are lotsa private stuff within my family, regarding trust and betrayals.. and.. its just too complicated for me, so I really apologize, for this. I always thought this character of mine is really bad, im starting to inherit this from my mom, which I hav been warned before not to follow. I know im gonna drive my bf mad one day. But I have amazing friends ard me who kept ensuring me, things will work, with time, and that if I mention this nicely and make compromises, its gonna be allright! Yeah.. huey miin has also made a significant peaceful mind in me.. she has been a good listener, just when I needed someone, I always needed someone to confide in, but never had a chance to, I guess? Maybe that’s why my mood has been much better this week, with all these supports and encouragements.

Hey even aug did his laundry today. Gee.. haa.. im gg mad I think.. lotsa things to do.. to read.. sob.. been doing lotsa unrelated stuff besides studying this week too. Lookin for places to eat for my bdae, lookin for apts for nx year, lookin for jobs ol.. haha.. im planning for sth AFTER exams!

I really really hope I can get intern in sg.. someone pls reply? Haha so many ppl’s helping me.. *feel bad* hereby, I’d like to thank, dah, matthew, wenjia, toigoon n lieyang.. J well if im a sporean and can do 6 mths, its gonna be easier, but I can only do max 2 mths! Sigh.. sobssobs..

Owh.. I also found out that someone’s getting married on my birthday! So cool! Its my cousins’ housemate, who is working under my dad’s and well, I wish I can be there. I love to be in weddings. Just love it. Love the gown, the atmosphere, the passion.. sincerely wishin ko sugi all the best…

Not forgetting, its tsunting’s bIRthdaY NOW! 1200am Oz day light savings tme! Huahuauhauaha.. hAPPY BIRTHDAY TSUNTING!!!!!! Miss U Lots!!! **hugzzzzz** u’re bdae gift will be on its way okay! When im back in sg.. hahahaha… *good luck for ur examz*

*feeling really guilty right now* for not starting on revision.. I guess I better start. Haha.. well crouching under my quilt is really comfy.. but I had to stop.. shall continue again another day.. ^^

shAnz
7:03 PM