feelin so lost todai.. haha..
1. Intended to do some work @ uni after the ONLY class i have todai.. --> forgot to bring the red file. everything i could possibly work with is in there. so yea. well i remember chucking it last night in my drawer. why did i do that ha?
2. The photocopied, unbinded thick stack of textbook for this subject/ assignment will be of help, i thought. so i brought it aniway, get it binded. it was so heavy! (hmpf) anw whilst this guy was binding it, i thought i had no cash. so i asked if i could use EFTPOS. yEs, but $10 min spent. well since it costs $4.50, so i had to insert $10 to this specialized card of theirs. hesitated, cos i dont n wont go to this photocopy shop @ all in near future, since its not quite accessible. but had no choice. did it aniway, but realized i had cash after the transaction. =_=''
3. After i left the shop, n was 5 minutes away from my lecture, i realized i had few copies of notes that i had to photocopy. BUT i forgot to do it then. *manz*
4. Went to this only lecture and realized we were still @ lecture 3, didnt quite finish it last lecture. n I had lecture 4 with me. in fact, 2 copies of lecture 4, one for stella, and amazingly the lecture 2. hell. y did i go to school today? haa
hilarious. well my girls tell me i do that all the time. so it wasnt new to them. they just shake their heads and smile. hmff..
went home aniways, thought i might as well do it @ home.. had 3 different assingments to do this week.. work n work n work.. sobs.. n mY brain's kinda fully-loaded, with only what seem like 1mB left..
had to re-edit-edit this proposal, over n over again. so confusing. haa.. hell is that most scientist life out there? man.. to dvelop own methods n procedures.. n basically research reserach n research.. so b o r i n g. . . .
then the other one.. due tuesday.. haa n my com wasnt cooperating with me. stupid com. it cant open certain websites. n it had to be those important websites i had to view! =_=''' i guess i had to do it in uni over the next few days.
halfway through my assingment, had to let my sis take over for her assignment, so i went to read my notes, WHilst lying on my bed.. which is something any student with an assignment due should not do, because yes. i fell asleep. Huahuahuaha... *oops*
well i woke up aniwae, cos i had this strange sad dream.. dreamt of my mom n dad.. I MISS THEM! ! ! !! yah, i really miss them.. in that dream, they were all here.. n working.. the structure of the apt is exactly the same, except that the door was @ the window.. but to think again, it was bigger than this, so i guess it was more of a house.. well aniwae.. it was indeed a cosy house.
i remembered chatting n playin with my mom on the bed, when my dad came home from work.. it was so real! well then to my despair he says he had to go again. sigh it was late.. but he had to go still because of company concerns. why is it so similar.. even back in reality he always do that to mom.. then i snapped n tell him he shudnt, n tell him various reason of how he should have been there with mom n not alwais leave her alone..regardless its for work/ tennis/ sch.. of course i brought up if i was treated the same way by aug i would be really upset. well my mom n dad have this issue so perhaps i may seem exaggerating, perhaps only some will know what im going through..
then in that strange dream, my dad understood me, n gave me the childish frown look, n says ok, i understand.. --> HUH??? how could that be? well he went to Andrie's room anw, then as we sat by the bedside, he sobbed. ---> HUHH? then i vividly remembered hugging him close.. how sad..
--> owh we did woke my brother up, n he had this funniest expression with his nostrils somehow enlarged, mouthing --> WHY? haa
well somehow dad n mom was talking out there telling her he still has to go. the dream sort of ended there.
woke up n my sis was still @ the com.. idiot. still not done yet with her work.. it was 2 am! anw, the first thign i did was call out her name. she thought i was talking in my dreams. so she ignored me for a while. *grr* gee.. told her abt it. n she said maybe it was somekind of a message sent by my dad.. gila aja..
then i thought again, maybe he feels really bad, the crying was real though.. my brother can be a shocked-witness too there in my dream!! yea.. he feels bad, but he still had to go. why why why? *touch wood* if its brainwashed by someone; hell im gonna hunt that person down.
hai. cant help but cry at my stupid dream. i told my sis because i miss them. but its also.. bcs.. my dad cried whilst hugging me, maybe becuz i nv seen my dad cry before. also bcos i know he has certain hidden feelings that he cant say, troubled n all. most importantly i think i'd love the fact that we can live together again. 21-8 = 13. 13?? been away for the past 13 years. omg, its that long, hey?
wish when i wake up one day, mom n dad are too.. preparing for work, while sis, bro n myself prepares for work/ uni/ school. All of us living together. i miss those days.. if it had been that way all these while, none of thse problems would have arised between dad n mom.. nor us n them.. we've been out too long! but im thankful of course, dont get me wrong... i guess i just miss them..
fu: thanks for all the help earlier. it was so nice of you. very much appreciated =D n.. yea.. i wish i can sneak out n tip toe all the way back too.. miss the scoldings haha.. except that i dont need to, they aren't here.. =D
shAnz
3:07 AM
