The shock of reality
not only made my stomach flipped
it sent my spleen right up my throat.
even that tough sprain on my ankle did not hurt as bad
at least not till now..
I thought I had grown so matured by now
at least, sufficient to tackle my own problems
I realized I have not
IN fact, Im not even close
Compared to someone 4 years my senior,
I feel like I am 12.
This long talk that I had
I finally realized my deepest fear
which is having to NOT know what I wanna do
I DO know many things in life
Its scary how u always know what u thought
you knew but in fact you have no idea
what you have had in your mind for all these years
How can I possibly NOT know!?
so here I am struggling to find the answer
everyday, everytime.
Once the right picture comes along
One mere harmless gush of wind blows it off and gone
One day I'm in, another day I'm out.
Its always like that. Always.
Someone slap me.
This final breakthrough of walking into that door
that opens to the real world make me realize how much
effort I had to put in, the past 20 years of
sweat, tears and brain wrecking days
aint all it.
Graduation is not the end afterall,
It is the beginning,
of life.
I mean it!
If you'd think you have led a great life so far
and you think
you can count on it,
think again. .
You cant, not even the richest kid
or the most successful person i know.
well at least, at this crucial stage..
The world of unlimited choice
that's filled with infinite restrictions and sarcasms
The world where u can easily find easy tackled ads
with countless of hidden icebergs
The world where you bothered to go the extra mile to be one real adult
where nobody actually takes you seriously
It is just how important it is to do what they call,
"Incorporating Wise Up for Career world"
Its weird, how you struggle SO MUCH in the University
But after walking down that narrow path
you realize it IS really a narrow NARROW path
no T nor Cross junction whatsoever?
Where and WHEN can I ever find that pedestrian crossing
if there's any?
I know that this narrow path
is taking me down the longest tunnel ever built
I know that I will find a destination
OH I BET I WILL.
Just when will this tunnel end?
When things come too easy
we'll suspect.
do they have to get complicated
before we believe they are for real?
Most of us are raised to believe that
the course of different segments in life
never runs smoothly
there is always an obstacle in Act two
before you live happily ever after in Act three
but what happens if the obstacles aren't there?
does that mean that something is missing?
shAnz
8:20 PM
